Showing posts with label the man who owned the philippines. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the man who owned the philippines. Show all posts

Sunday, December 18, 2011

P-Noy and his Iphone 4s

I saw P-Noy once after a press conference, he came to me and said, "hey i got a new phone" and he showed me the Iphone 4s.

"Alam mo ba gamitin yan?" (Do you know how to use it?)

"Oo, naman, heto.." (Panay ang swipe niya sa mga pages, accessing the wifi, and kung anu-ano pinipindot.)
(Here, let me show you, then he swiped all the pages and accessed all the buttons.)


After almost wasting 15 minutes of my time showing all the features and all to me, he got lost and all, and he seem to be frustrated.

I told him to relax, and I pressed the button that activates 'Siri' and a few secret root passwords:

"Siri, cancel all open applications and open Pnoy's schedule for the whole week."

"Your schedule is open. Anything else?"

"None. thank you Siri."

And he asked me, "how did you do that?"

"You just saw me how I did it right? I spoke to it. That is the main feature of Iphone 4s, voice activation using Siri. You did not know this?"

"No. I thought it is the same as my 3GS."

"You know P-Noy, you are just like any rich Filipino bastard I know. You are just buying something just for display only without utilizing its full potential. How will the people think of you as a mature and smart president if you just bought something new and expensive but do not know how to use it?"

"C'mon man, don't be harsh, teach me."

"I have no time, can't you see that I am very busy soliciting aid for those people affected by Sendong (the typhoon that hit the southern part of the Philippines), you are wasting your time playing that goddamn thing while people are suffering and dying out there!"

I walked away before I get a heart attack.

Man invented technology to be used and abused. That is what it is made for. You have to use tech at its full potential. It is utter nonsense if you just bought it for display only, becoming famous for it because you have it is pathetic.

In my opinion, these material things are just temporary 'bottles of joy.' After it is consumed, they are just thrown away or recycled like everything else.

xoxo

(one guy posted this on INQ comments...and maybe, this is what PNoy does to Siri..hopefully not)







Friday, February 25, 2011

The Man who owned the Philippines

(This is my 'bloggel' (blog + novel). Hope you will like it., any similarity or depiction of the characters herewith are coincindental and ficticious.

The Man who owned the Philippines
Bloggel No. -3


You do not know who I am, you see me down the street, in a cab, in a tram. Going to a restaurant. Just an ordinary guy. You don't notice it because you are busy on your normal lives. But I will tell you something, I have this 'thing' that I own. It is good, bad, in between, I don't know how to deal with it...

I own the Republic of the Philippines.

You don't believe me? Just come to my room for a second...

Sorry for the cluttered room. Here it is, this is the glass safe, see this certificate of ownsership and treaty signed by Gen.Douglas MacAurthur, this is my name here...

all these wires?, i have a t1 and t3 connection, dsl and wireless, here it is, the hotline to the president Noy. He calls me for quite sometime, about some domestic issues and foreign diplomacies...

Sorry about the books, and magazines, just watch your step. maybe you think about that these are all fake and shit.. if you can spare me a few hours, you will believe me..