Suicidal tendencies

I watched a lot and been immersed in Japanese culture.

Accepting defeat for them is as good as being killed.

Imagine if my country Philippines will be like that, then we will be able to prosper. It only these times when recession and problems about money came to surface thats the only time they see reality.

Life is hard, you have to work, pay your bills, and work more harder. With that, you have to please other people too. Smiling at them always and all, just to be with them.

Here is a more sad part. You bring kindness to others and they fuck you up in return. If you give kindness you should expect kindness to be returned right?

Philippines is like that. Filipinos are like that. So be careful if you set foot to our country. Only few people will treat you with utmost kindness. The rest just want to get a quick buck.

Look at the politicians, look at those rich capitalists? don't you see?

Sometimes I just want to die.

Why do I have this country anyway, why should I own this? its not my problem right?
I have helped my countrymen already, why they treat me like shit? Why do I have to hide it from them? I want some respect too... the only respect I get is I have power and money. If I have none of these, NOTHING!

I have tried suicide once, I have it ready on my table. Guns, poison, heights, you name it.

But then again, if I die, who will take care of the country? I can't leave it to other family members, they are old. And my sisters, they will just fuck more of it.

I'll have just to bear with it.

Life goes on, for me and for everyone. even though how hard it is. Money or no money, no love or not, we have to keep going.

Treasure life.

I don't know if I continue, especially if there are those bad people who abuse your kindness....

Depression go away

Yes I admit I am suffering from depression.

It seems it cant go out of my head.

What I do is read inspiring stories, pray, and just meditate, be still, God is moving.

That is what I do.

Talk to a loved one, a relative, or a true friend (not those Facebook friends who will just comment and walk away).

In the end, you can solve your problem by yourself. Either you sink or swim. Be tough my friend, there is always tomorrow.

Smile.

One quickie night with Paris

Okay first of all, its just a title.

When Paris came to the Philippines, my secretary called her immediately for an appointment. She was so excited to meet me in person as told by my cheeky secretary.

"Sir, bagay kayo! sana marami kayong maging anak, akin yung may blue eyes."

"Hoy, Ms. ^)^)((*%%$%$  tigilan mo kakapanood ng telenovela ang magtrabaho ka dyan"

(Translation:
"Sir, you belong to each other, hope you will have lots of babies, I want the one with blue eyes."

Hey Ms. ^)^)((*%%$%$, stop watching those telenovelas and get back to work.")

As usual she arrived late. Quite normal for a celebrity like her. But I do know the reason as she met MP with her wife earlier, and she just squeezed some time for me. Sweet indeed.

"Treat it like a quickie."

I laughed at that moment. Yes Paris. is sweet and friendly. While we were talking, I noticed a lot of people noticed us and starting to crowd. I informed security already but some can go past through. Paris was a little concerned, so I held her hand and told her to calm down. I called one of my trusted valet parkers at the hotel and told to bring one of my 'emergency cars' to the special getaway point. When I saw the car, I told her to hold my hand and never let go. So we raced immediately to the car and now fans are screaming with flashing camera lights from paparazzis.

She was impressed that  I could drive on this chaotic traffic. it was EDSA on rush hour, and I told her its normal, especially for third world countries like us. She pinched me at the cheek and told that its okay. During  the long traffic, she talked about her business ventures and all, that she is planning to open a new clothing line and a resort. She talked about her friends in NY, and her business in other countries. And of course her party adventures around the globe.

I told her I was hungry and will go through a drive through at McDonalds. She loved the idea and told she will order for me. She ordered the Big Mac Meal for me (my favorite) and she ordered an Apple pie for herself, but she told the clerk "make it fast."

Upon payment, yes the items were delivered on time, and I told Paris to thank personally the cashier, when I brought down the window and they saw Paris, they went crazy.

We drove till we reached MOA and parked my car. We had a small chat on relationships. I told Paris that we are not getting any younger. You are beautiful and successful, you should have someone now and 'produce' a new heir or heiress. She laughed and told that there is so many things to be done on her career.

"Let me enjoy it."

And when she asked the same to me, I told, there are lots of problems to take care of here, let me solve it.

She kissed me at the cheek.

"Make it fast tiger, you don't know it but someone's waiting."

I looked at her blue eyes, and smiled.

Then her publicist called and told a limousine is waiting for her nearby. She was told to rest for the inauguration of the resort. I accompanied her to her limo and gave her a a gift, two new iphones. She laughed again and told that she will return if her schedule is free.

So that's it. A great gal indeed. I do not mind what it is written against her, as I know her publicist is one of the best ones out there for making someone famous even more famous.

Which I do not want.

Do a random act of kindness (with a Japanese folktale)

I listened to some relaxing meditating music yesterday evening.

This is to remove my stress, my anger, my depression, and my pain.

In this society full of greed, hatred and uncertainty. We must be able to withstand these negative forces.

On my side, this is what I did. I give something without anything in return.

Be it love, money, assets. Giving is something very hard to do these days. And yet we do not do it. Why is that?
Let it be, that the person who receive squander the money or break our hearts with their hearts content.
In the end of the day, who is the one who is in need?
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There was once this rich man, who is very kind. Everything he has he always give it to those who asks.

Mister can I have your coat?
Mister I need money.
Mister I need some shoes.
Sir, I need clothes.

Yes you can take them.

All what is left is his head.

Now the man is so kind he was all naked. Then he went to the forest with all the wild animals. They were hungry. So the wild animals asked if they can eat a part of his body.

Can I eat your arms?
Can I eat your legs?
Can i eat your torso?
Can I eat your eyes?

Yes you can eat them.

Now the wild animal who ate the eyes of the man said something:

"Here is my gift for you for your kindness, here's my thank you letter....."

"FOOL" (written on the letter)

The man was so happy, as someone gave him a letter to thank him, but he cannot see what it is written.

He was left all alone in the forest and died immediately.

The end.
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So who lost here? who has given happiness to others? was the man wrong in this regard?

try to contemplate about it.

Philippines and China Relations

I am really skeptical on our relationship with China.

You know why? Because they will make us their cheap docile labor.

I asked P-Noy on his agenda and his plans on this. All are just jibberish for now. I do not see any concrete plans on how China will contribute to the Philippine Economy (except for bringing fake goods in our country).

I will talk to him once more.

Please brace yourselves and tighten your belts as always.

Do not trust your fellow countrymen (cont.2)

It is really sick that my fellow countrymen (Filipinos) are so into 'crab mentality.'

If you don't know what crab mentality is, its simple. Imagine yourself a crab who wants to go out of the fisherman's net. While other crabs are leading the on the top, you pull them down so that you can be on top.

Pathetic.

Other nationalities don't usually practice this. Maybe some of them. But not Filipinos. They are the worst ever.

Okay forgive me, but nowadays, let us be careful. Even our relatives will do it to us. Such a shame which we have to do this to survive. But then again, my country is a poor one. And they accepted it being poor. Nothing can be done for now.

It is ok to be down and let others go up.....for now.

Because when the time has come that I am on top (well I'm always on top), I will never lend a hand to those who are down.

Be thankful I have a soft heart.

Do not trust your fellow countrymen

Before I went abroad, my father and our neighbor talked to each other. Our neighbor stayed half of his life in the middle east, gave me an ominous advice:

Do not trust your fellow countrymen.

I didn't argue. I know that he is correct. And my knees trembled a little. If your own countrymen can't help you, who will?

It is a shame indeed.

(To be continued)
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Zain