Friday, September 16, 2011

Suicidal tendencies

I watched a lot and been immersed in Japanese culture.

Accepting defeat for them is as good as being killed.

Imagine if my country Philippines will be like that, then we will be able to prosper. It only these times when recession and problems about money came to surface thats the only time they see reality.

Life is hard, you have to work, pay your bills, and work more harder. With that, you have to please other people too. Smiling at them always and all, just to be with them.

Here is a more sad part. You bring kindness to others and they fuck you up in return. If you give kindness you should expect kindness to be returned right?

Philippines is like that. Filipinos are like that. So be careful if you set foot to our country. Only few people will treat you with utmost kindness. The rest just want to get a quick buck.

Look at the politicians, look at those rich capitalists? don't you see?

Sometimes I just want to die.

Why do I have this country anyway, why should I own this? its not my problem right?
I have helped my countrymen already, why they treat me like shit? Why do I have to hide it from them? I want some respect too... the only respect I get is I have power and money. If I have none of these, NOTHING!

I have tried suicide once, I have it ready on my table. Guns, poison, heights, you name it.

But then again, if I die, who will take care of the country? I can't leave it to other family members, they are old. And my sisters, they will just fuck more of it.

I'll have just to bear with it.

Life goes on, for me and for everyone. even though how hard it is. Money or no money, no love or not, we have to keep going.

Treasure life.

I don't know if I continue, especially if there are those bad people who abuse your kindness....

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